Dreams and Demons.

Keeping the faith is getting a little easier to swallow due to the fact i have three job interviews scheduled this week and one will be working with a good freind at the cadbury plant. eating candy all shift? i couldn't complain... there are things in this world that refuse to fucking make sense and getting laid off is one of those ridiculous things that have to happen at the worst times in my life, of course one of the values of not giving a shit is the fact that I don't care... realistcally as long as my son and I are provided for and have a fucking roof over our heads, the rest of the world can kiss my ass, there's nothing i can do to slow down the marching of time so i don't even bother to fucking try... sorry if that sounds mercanry but to be honest i don't really give a shit.. there are a million reasons why I don't trust anyone outside of my little boy and My sister in this world and typical human behavior esp. employers in my feild have always proven me right, so why the hell should i give a damn?

Trust Nobody.

Current Mood: Pissed off.
Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.

Comments

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Villian

I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild. I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them. It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done. I am making choices for my future and its pret...

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