Skip to main content

Broken.


I am at a real crossroads at the job and my status as the full time night guy, It is getting clear to me that I am only on the night shift so that someone relibale and long term is on that shift, because let's face it, I'm not going anywhere in a fucking hurry.. It's pretty evident i am carrying the buttload of the workload when certian people are letting the kids do things that are obvuisly counter productive to behavior, I.E. restricted movies to children with fragile Pyches, and then blaming the staff that called them on it when one of the kids has a breakdown over watching the movie, other little things re bothering me there too... it's pretty sad that the Boss is on vacation and the supervisior is leaving which leaves me as the defacto go to guy, and I don't even give a shit...decisions are being made with no accountabilty because I'll come in on the night shift and clean everything up for the next morning. I don't feel supported at the job at all and My opinions and decisions don't seem to matter, the hours are started to affect everything else becaus I no longer have the fucking energy to do anything else afterwards, and I Have to pull myself out of sleep just to get anything done during daylight hours, I'm naturally noctural by nature but this is getting ridiculous and the lack of energy is getting to me.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

Return To The Abyss.

If anyone thinks they can take advantage of me and the people I care about, they are sadly mistaken. I walk away from people I love because of their bullshit. Someone who is merely there in my life? Yeah, I’m fucking out. I don’t need emotional vampires that suck me dry in my life. I will walk away from anything and everything at this point. I no longer give a damn about anything other than myself when it comes to your opinion.  This decision and many others have been a long fucking time coming and to be honest I’m better off doing my own thing alone and solo. Because it’s better off for all involved. There’s still a temper and there is still the old me hidden underneath this attempt at seeking peace. I’m not a nice guy, I’ve never claimed to be a nice guy. And I’m not keeping my fucking mouth shut.  No one fucking uses me, Period. And thats all I’ve felt I’ve been over the last few years. By a number of people in my professional life and my personal life. So maybe at this mom...

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.