Skip to main content

Broken.


I am at a real crossroads at the job and my status as the full time night guy, It is getting clear to me that I am only on the night shift so that someone relibale and long term is on that shift, because let's face it, I'm not going anywhere in a fucking hurry.. It's pretty evident i am carrying the buttload of the workload when certian people are letting the kids do things that are obvuisly counter productive to behavior, I.E. restricted movies to children with fragile Pyches, and then blaming the staff that called them on it when one of the kids has a breakdown over watching the movie, other little things re bothering me there too... it's pretty sad that the Boss is on vacation and the supervisior is leaving which leaves me as the defacto go to guy, and I don't even give a shit...decisions are being made with no accountabilty because I'll come in on the night shift and clean everything up for the next morning. I don't feel supported at the job at all and My opinions and decisions don't seem to matter, the hours are started to affect everything else becaus I no longer have the fucking energy to do anything else afterwards, and I Have to pull myself out of sleep just to get anything done during daylight hours, I'm naturally noctural by nature but this is getting ridiculous and the lack of energy is getting to me.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more