Shattered Dimensions

I hope I am just being paranoid but I am seeing signs of something not quite right at home, Destroying toys by pulling off their limbs and hiding them under the covers in the bottom of the bed concerns me greatly... I swear If I find out he is being abused I will fucking lose it. What is the point of being who i am if the other half who i chose to spend my life with only to have her slice my heart out thru my back let's this happen? Go figure, the cycle continues even if I cannot be there to prevent it.. fuck you'd have figured seeing how she knows i was Abused that she would be vigilant about it, but of course not she's too self involved.. we are merely possesions, But If my suspecions are true and It's not all just my fucking head I will annhailate her. I don't like suspicious bruises either. this shit shoudl not be happeneing in my own fucking home... It's time to take the rose coloured glasses off and look around, because something just isn't right... The blame isn't falling on me for giving him ADHD, there's something more to it and i suspect you know, and that's the part that both concerns and scares me.. grow Up and fucking deal with it, because if I have to i will deal with you.

Current Mood: Suicidal, Homicidal, Depressed.
You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth. I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable. there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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