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Shattered Illusions


There comes a time when you simply stop caring and it becomes about the paycheck, I Don't need to be calling in the middle of my sleep cycle and bitched about and harrassed about things that are not in my job description and are more likely based on behaviors i am not responsible for. i leave when the kids leave i shouldn't be bitched at for forgetting to make sure the poor wittle babies didn't flush the toilet... I mean do you want me to go in their and shake it for them? I'm not gonna fucking hold their hand.. I have bigger concerns right now and if 14 and 16 year olds can't do basic behaviors like flushing and cleaning up after themselves what the fuck amI supposed to do about it? Gotta love how it's my reponsibilty tho.. agian no accountabilty here... I'm not sleeping days or night because i'm wondering what the fuck is going on with my son and meanwhile at my job I'm being treated like an indentured servant... yeah we know the last time I felt like a peice of meat what i started doing at my job.. i started to covertly try to get myself fired... it's fucking time to move on.. i'm sick of the beuracracy, the politics and the game playing.. I often wonder if the reason i got hired was so that they could have a patsy to blame things on, i'm sick of being the whipping boy and it only comes from certain staff... and it's not like it's the most hygenic working enviorment either.. i can't count how many times the kids have made me sick because they aren't isolated when they have a bad cold or have some sort of illness like chicken pox... nah, just let them hang out with everyone and hope that they don't get shingles... And now they may have a bug problem in the couch? you think? the place that staff are supposed to sleep because you can't be bothered to spend money has Bugs? yeah, real fucking healthy place this is... all I need for me and my ltitle man is to take home a case of fucking bed bugs... that's all she needs to be able to use agianst me... welcome to the system, you can check out but you can never leave. I'm getting the feeling that my employment here eneeds to end for my own mental fucking health. I have bigger concerns than my mickey mouse fucking job where i don't feel respected or a vital member of the staffing team, I am simply a warm fucking body to deal with the overnight. This place isn't about helping the children who are in the system it's very clear to me this place is about turning a profit and I have felt very strongly agianst working at one of these places in the past why the hell am I working in one? the last place i expected to end up was a for profit group home where the staff don't care.... the last person i expected to become was one of the staff that didn't care and was only in it for the paycheque.

Current Mood: Depressed.
I believe the best service to the child is the service closest to the child, and children who are victims of neglect, abuse, or abandonment must not also be victims of bureaucracy. They deserve our devoted attention, not our divided attention.

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