Emerald Twilight

I am about to change my life in a dozen diffrent ways and the one battle that has to start today and end today is an argument about Housing? Newsflash you're the one with marital problems not me.. I've dealt with mine without involving you.. I am sick of trying to hold a fragile peace rather than just being defeated by someone attempting to intimidate me... I had to lose a little bit of control and show my temper today to show that meant buisness and get some resoltion... At this moment and time being homeless is not an option.. giving someone money i dont have is not an option.. I need this person for a bigger battle but I am not going to sacrifice the shit storm that is my life to just move on to make things conivent for someone else's situation... thankfully it has been resolved peacefully.. and I have good news and positive things to look forward to in the coming days even if i do have a storm to continue to ride the wave of... No fear... Nothing but the determiniation in my heart and soul to get me there.. the only distraction that remains will soon be eliminated and I can focus all my energies on fighting this final battle... Hopefully once agian i will find safety and security in this new place but honestly sometimes choas and turmoil help to keep me focused, having desperation and a hunger in my belly sometimes helps with the upcoming battles and dealing with adversity...

Current Mood: Anger.
We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth. I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable. there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...

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