Emerald Twilight

I am about to change my life in a dozen diffrent ways and the one battle that has to start today and end today is an argument about Housing? Newsflash you're the one with marital problems not me.. I've dealt with mine without involving you.. I am sick of trying to hold a fragile peace rather than just being defeated by someone attempting to intimidate me... I had to lose a little bit of control and show my temper today to show that meant buisness and get some resoltion... At this moment and time being homeless is not an option.. giving someone money i dont have is not an option.. I need this person for a bigger battle but I am not going to sacrifice the shit storm that is my life to just move on to make things conivent for someone else's situation... thankfully it has been resolved peacefully.. and I have good news and positive things to look forward to in the coming days even if i do have a storm to continue to ride the wave of... No fear... Nothing but the determiniation in my heart and soul to get me there.. the only distraction that remains will soon be eliminated and I can focus all my energies on fighting this final battle... Hopefully once agian i will find safety and security in this new place but honestly sometimes choas and turmoil help to keep me focused, having desperation and a hunger in my belly sometimes helps with the upcoming battles and dealing with adversity...

Current Mood: Anger.
We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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