Skip to main content

The Crossroads...

I am at a point in my life that very soon I am going to have to make some even harder decisions than I have already made, I have good options and I have lousy options at the moment my option that i have chosen is merely a placeholder to see what the next month or two will bring.. I'm no longer standing still without forward momentum but i am still going up a large hill very slowly... it's time to decide.. I know long term Hamilton No longer figures into the plan, I hate it here and it really is just about the reality that the city for me has outlived it's usefulness and created more fucking issues than i ever needed in my life...Windsor is calling me home and I have an option there... truth be told it was the one place that does feel like home.. the place i was happiest... But as much as the core of my being is defined by Windsor... the purest and most important part of my soul is currently in St. Catherines and Unless that changes it will be a very hard choice to decide to go back to Windsor...I miss my freinds and my life back there.. back then and their are days I regret leaving it all behind.. but I would miss being a father more. that's the only reason for fighting, that's the only reason for enduring hell and the only reason i will Never, Ever Fucking Back down from this fight....

Current Mood: Angry.
People will always assume you are weak until you show them you are strong. Never back down, never give up!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more