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Unholy War.

The battle is only just beginning but finally today i have gotten myself some vindication and some proof that I'm not the insane one in a dream world... my heart hurts for my little man that this is what she has reduced us too.. but that is her choice and she is the one damned to hell for it... But at least I have a little more strength to continue viewing down the wall of despair that has enveloped my life and I will come out this battle eventually proven innocent... it's just very sad that she has had to make this drastic action and destroyed my life.. (which If anyone really knows me.. I don't give two shits about...) but destroyed his as well... (which if you do know me, is the only thing I give a damn about and is just about the only thing left on this earth I will die to protect.) it's about her materialistic little perfect world that I don't fit in because I'm not willing to acquiesce to her demands or conform to her lifestyle and let all my dreams slip away... i can put them on fucking hold but i will never give up on them entirely... today was a minor Victory in getting some of the things that matter back. this battle that has been the very part of my life since you informed me of his birth is my defining moment not of my life but of his... I will not be the one who looks back in twenty years and resents you for it... that's not my place... but he will have access to everything written, reported and this journal among others and he will know even in my darkest and angriest times, it was never directed towards him... the only hate I have is directed towards you and the system, and your skillful manipulation of it. you have made your choices, you will burn for it not me.. all I have to do is hold onto that little light inside my heart and trust that my faith in above all else my relationship with my son will prove to light the harshest darkness's of my soul... and No matter what that spark, that flame can never be extinguished... i hope tonight that some clarity comes to you and you understand the viscous and deadly game you are playing... and why I will always have the tactical and Moral and Emotional high ground... because when it comes down to it... as much as this is about him... the core of the matter is this is about me and you and control... and I reject anyone's control.. I have never allowed myself to be controlled by anyone but myself, even fate and destiny do not control my choices and actions... I am defined by the man i was, the Man and the Father I am, And who I choose to be tomorrow... that's it... i refuse to let you, the system or anyone else define me... ever. the battle continues.... and we both know the only thing at stake... and the only thing i will go to my grave fighting for. His soul.

Current mood: Hopeful.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

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