Skip to main content

Hurting....


I don't know how to feel right now, one of the people that is so important in my sons life is now gone, thanks to another person in his life.. I am fucking shattered and i have No idea how either Jennifer or My boy feels... Grandma Helen was the only good god damn thing in that fucked up family.. I am here I am not going anywhere, there is nothing right now in my life that i wouldn't drop at a moments notice to be there for both of them... This shit should not have happened this should not be the way that things happen, I am so full of hurt and anger right now and it's not even even directed at anyone...I feel so sad I can't imagine how they feel... why do bad things happen to good people... I worked with the woman, she always accepted me and always tried to continue to make peace between me and you as much as she could, She was always a bridge between us... and I miss her... This should not happen, you will be missed. I don't know what else to say here... anything you need babe, I'm here... I know I've had anger towards you, and that I have left you down, but regardless I am here Standing for you, if you or him ever need me I am here... I will always be here... I promise you that.I don't Know if you can see this, but if you can Know that I am here for you No matter what... for both of you, I feel shattered and I can't imagine How that you feel.

Current Mood: Hurting.
Current Music: Johnny Cash, Hurt.
Everyone I know. Goes away in the end.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more