Skip to main content

Amityville...


The patience level is low and I am still considering giving notice, I need to make plans to protect myself and my own... I know this that I am no else's father, and No one else's friend... nothing like going out with family for dinner and having to deal with fucking bullshit from home, and then the same fucking toolbox keeps me up till fucking 6 am with their bullshit, I know that it would be very fucking easy to walk away right now.. it seems like there have only been a few places in my life where i have found true peace, one is Windsor, one is watching my doggies at moms or the brother in laws.... and the third is up at Ottawa and Fennel, fuck i miss my old apartment so fucking much... both of the two i have spent over a year at.. it's too bad that things go the way that they do, it would be so fucking easy to just walk away and become a ghost... I am sick of having responsibilities to others, I don't have any obligation to have them, and no fucking need... I have one responsibility in this life One. That's it. anything else I can and will walk away from for my own sanity and to protect those that I care about, Hamilton and me are not long in the tooth for each other. Dundas even less.. 6 months I've been here, and it's seems like every fucking day i find new reasons to be fucking miserable. I have enough things in my life that are worth fighting for, I'm not about to take a fucking stand on the things that are not.

Current Mood: Annoyed.
Current Music: Amityville, Eminem
It's true some things were not meant to be & we should let them go... but some things are worth fighting for & we shouldn't give up until we've tried all we can.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Villian

I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild.  I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them.  It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done.  I am making choices for my future and its pret...