Amityville II: The Possesion

Losing my fucking mind all the fucking time these days, I am uncomfortable here and I am seriously trying to figure everything out... I don't like feeling fucking unsafe and the lack of respect is fucking insane...patience level is low and i feel like I'm fucking living in an insane asylum, I currently do not fucking feel like this is a safe place to bring my son home too.. too much fucking bullshit this weekend and then to have a major fucking incident over the fact you want fucking internet? buy a fucking Ethernet wire... I've already help to raise a fucking adult, i'm not about to fucking babysit two men that should be dealing with their own shit and issues...I won't be fucking walked over, I'll walk away first.. so fucking fed up with this shit...i'd rather be fucking homeless and hanging with my homies and saying fuck the world than trying to be respectable and fighting so fucking hard to make things right... I don't need to lose my fucking temper every day over simplistic fucking shit... I have bigger concerns in this fucking world to deal with and this baby shit is getting on my nerves.. i basically gave notice today... i am fucking looking to move on, I need somewhere to be fucking comfortable and safe and if that ain't gonna happen here.. i'm fucking gone...

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: 2pac, Brenda's got a Baby.
Stop the world. I want to get off.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday. Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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