Keeping the Darkness at Arms Length...

Some days i feel the darkness more than other days but today i got to stand firm on both feet and deal with a number of things that needed to be done... the first was dealing with some buisness and even tho i feel let down by it some days it is a steady source of income and allows to have some adventures and i'm not exactly starving or going without right now, I have a little nest egg set up for whatever is needed and i am doing some serious move forward even if other days it's thru a clusterfuck of errors that things aren't where they should be... of course none of this should be happening in the first place...but i firmly stood my ground with any direction that needed to be handled today with the people that needed to be handled and i will do the same tommorow, sometimes the void is looking back and sometimes I allow it too, Not today.

Current Mood: Determined.
Darkness tends to embolden haters to have a voice. They will find every dark corner, every crack in a wall, or shady spot under a tree to spread lies or put you down. If you shine a light where all the noise is coming from, they will scatter in search of another dark spot to hide.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact. You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family. Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...

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