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Prisoner of War....

Starting to get extremely fed up with a few things in my life, I think I made a very tactical error in terms of current living arrangements as it becoming very clear to me that my current living situation may not work itself in the long term, there are becoming too many fucking bullshit and bogus issues around little things, and I know that even being in Dundas that i am overpaying for my current Situation, i wanted something safe and secure and it is not fucking likely that at this point that I have that stable fucking ground under my feet, between the fact she moved 2 kids into the other room that are barely out of high school and act as such esp. late in to the night and here kid has basiclly taken up residence nightly i am becoming very uncomforatble, there is a serious money drain issue as well and i am not fucking impressed.. I am working and bringing money in and It is very uncomfortable to be sharing a house when all i want to be is a fucking tenant, sometimes helping people out and establishing relationships is a bad fucking move... I could be paying 500 or 600 Dollars elsewhere and have my own privacy and other things, at this point i am almost the fucking point of saying fuck last months and moving on, i do not have the fucking patience for this... It is fucking doubtful i would stay in hamilton area at this point, I have options in Burlington, Niagara (maybe), Windsor and other places, it may be just as worth my while to cut ties and move on, might be safer for my mental space, I know some of my current issues are my own fucking doing but some of them are not and living with a bunch of people in a an unsafe not up to code house where nothing has been done in 6 months and the landlord does not even hold true title on her own house and the fact that it could affect my income is becoming serious fucking consideration right now, the fact that i have little privacy and constant noise and annoyances and constatly being talked down to by a peer who thinks she has some form of control over me is not flying, I will tell her to Fuck off... I wouldn't take this shit in a realtionship with a partner who was the love of my life regardless of her actions in the last 10 years... there is no fucking way I will take the same abuse from someone who is merely someone i share a house with, I can and will very easily fucking move on. I'm sick of feeling like a prisoner of war in my own house. I have too much else going on that makes me a prisoner in my own mind, it does not fucking help when i am worrying about court and the things that are important in my life, and to be fucking honest in the grande scheme of things exactly where i live is not... the truth is I have lived my fucking life as a nomad and only put down roots once because of my child and at this point with that situation dissolving in novemeber i am seriously having thoughts that moving on is likely going to be the best course of action, I will not be a prisoner of War in my own home. I have too much going for that.

Current Mood: Angry.
There is no greater hell than to be a prisoner of fear.

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