Rules of Engagement 2.5: Red Oni

Never trust a demon. He has a hundred motives for anything he does ... Ninety-nine of them, at least, are malevolent.

You won't find angels in hell, only demons that know how to play with yours

It's fucking disgusting how much I have to keep dealing with the system just to get any leverage and a chance to see my kid. If I have to be the demon warrior to get things done, so be it. I'm always better as the red ONI anyways. I'm always better when I'm angry and driven. Maybe this constant actual anger is healthier for me than the apathy of expecting others to do this shut for me. I'll examine every avenue to get things down, if I won't back down from her then I won't back down from them. It's time to channel all this anger and frustration into a positive direction and make changes. The way it's going right right now nothing is changes, if it ruffles a few feathers or makes things harder for a few people so be it, I don't give a fuck. This needs to end not drown in politics. I want to see my son before he turns 18. I'm sick of the run around and the fact that things are playing right into her plans. If I have to be the dark and angry brooding one who has to kick down a door and make people hear me... i will this has gone on for far too fucking long... if i have to unleash the demon and have his loud belligerent voice heard, So be it.

Current Mood: Anger, Determination.
Current Music: Eminem, '97 Bonnie and Clyde

People shouldn't call for demons unless they really mean what they say.

But she had known, better than anyone else, what demons he had faced, had known how hard he had fought to free himself from them. That he had lost the fight in the end made the struggle no less honorable.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

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