Skip to main content

Forever Evil.

Let them hate, as long as they fear.

I don't hide behind my darkness, I use it as a strength to fight my fucking battles, there is anger and there is a dark place within, but unlike others I acknowledge my dark side and I can use it for positive ends, I'm not sure the next step in my life but I do know that whatever it is I'm prepared for it and that I can retreat into a very dark place if I need to gather strength. I don't mince words and my trust level is very fucking low right now, support me or don't, that's where I fucking stand at the current moment. Is it a goddamn very dark place? Hell yeah it is, but it's my dark place and it provides comfort. I know who I am amongst the shadows and uncertainty. I choose to be in that fucking place for a reason. I choose to fight. It's always going to be my most valuable defence mechanism esp when I know that I'm going to war, esp when I don't know if I'm going to win, all I know is that I'm not going to lose, or allow myself to give up and be beaten at any point. Failure is not an option. Backing down isn't one either. I can play the villian, I have no problem with that, I'm not the villian in this fairy tale tho and it's time to end this. I don't mind being the bad guy and/or the one to blame if it means that I get to have my day in court and his voice actually gets fucking heard instead of drowned out by you arguing with the fucking judges. I'm not playing this chess game any longer and I have no patience for you, it's time to end this, let's fucking collide. It's time to stack the deck and play this game to the final stage, let's end this. Let's shed some skin and tear a few pieces from each other. Are you ready? This is where everything ends. No more stalling, no more games. I want my day in court.

Current Mood: Determined.

You’re just another story I can’t tell anymore.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more