Skip to main content

The New Face of Fear.


Better the devil you know than the angel you don't.


I dislike the tricks my mind are playing with me right now, sleepless nights waiting for phantom phone calls I have no fucking interest in answering yet I want to happen because it's a connection to the one, only important thing in my life. Questions that need answering, but as long as I take this stance that I need to and be the aggressor, be the one who is standing his ground, I might not get those answers, not that I would want them from her anyways, that's not how the game is played, but you know what, the game is ending. This is becoming an end, I have no illusions to a positive end but I'll know two things at the end of the day, I stood my ground and I never stopped fighting for my son. The balls not in my corner for the moment to end this, but it is going to end shortly, that part is gonna happen. I have nothing left to prove to you or anyone, I have stood my ground for 5 years, I'm still here, I'm still standing without faltering, ten years and I am still here, you didn't destroy me then, you won't destroy me now, all you did was break me, and not for the first time, I'm used to that now. Thing is, I know how to be broken, I've been that way my entire life, it's what taught me how to fight, how to never give up, never back down and how to fuckin win. I know how to defeat you, it's by never backing down, I am not the person I was in 2011, or 2001. It's a completely different animal now, yet in a lot of ways I remain that person, the best parts of me anyways. Everything I've been through makes me stronger and more vicious, you've already taken everything away, what's left to lose, that's one of many reasons I'll never back down or walk away.I don't doubt that you fear me now, the difference is unlike the last 5 years, only in the last month have I truly given you reason to fear me, and I already assumed you hated me the way I hate you, so why should I care how and if you fear me, as long as he doesn't. Or if you hate me, you have earned the right to fear me with what you have done, and on the battlefield, I give you no remorse, no quarter. If it comes down to that, feel free to fear me, as I will end you.

Current Mood: Determined.

Evil is a double-edged sword, if you use it you'll end up cutting you.

War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...