Skip to main content

The Day That Never Comes.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

I'm sick of this fucking waiting while His life hangs in the fucking balance, we should be In fucking court now moving forward not allowing this bullshit status quo to fucking continue... both of us are sick of the battle and it affects all of our fucking lives, and it has turned me grey... it's a battle i will never back down but i am more than sick of fighting it.... I want my day in court or a settlement that will get my son back in my fucking life... those are the only options, I am afraid that day will never come and I am not sure if that is a result of the way the fucking system works or the ones i have entrusted to look after my interests. All i know is for the moment is that we are sitting here, we are waiting.... for a day that never comes... it should not take this long for this to to end, and I am seriously wondering how many times we are going to have to go thru this... it has aged me and frustrated me... I'm ready and willing to fight... the only thing I fear is never seeing him again and honestly i feel that's what the court system has basically set me up to do, set me up to fail... I have had to fight almost all of his life to just be his father, and for fucking what? every time i get my day in court it's taken away from me because of fucking politics? because the system has failed and is overloaded? what does that say about the importance of my son.... so fucking frustrated by the system right now. More fucking waiting.

Current Mood: Disillusioned.

Every day you either see a scar or courage. Where you dwell will define your struggle.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more