Dark Awakening II: Choas

It is fairly obvious to me as well as everyone else around me the transformer's experiment is almost done... i am deeply disturbed by the fact that i am being cut out of the loop and being reimbuirsed finacaly for all the effort, i am basiclly looking at this weekend as the end... after that I will take what's mine and walk away and have this dialectic choas at an end.. it's not worth the stress anymore... the whole fucking point of leaving things to the last minute and then trying to pay me to have everything ready and walk away without the real finacal benefits of the weekend is not only an insult it makes all the sacrifices and all the work of the last year pointless, i will see this thing to the end of the weekend and enjoy the one thing that is left for me to enjoy, after that it will be done... i need my life back, this neccaasary evil has run it's course and it's time to find something else, i don't want something that started as innocently as selling my children's things to become a bigger albatross around my neck then it already has been, it's time to end this... it's time to finish this game and deal with the other issues in my life, instead of some other selfish idiot's distraction, my blood and sweat and effort do not come cheap.

Current Mood: Pissed Off.
Current Music: Megadeth, Bite the Hand.

Bad bloods aren't born evil or dangerous. We are taught to be, but only because we have to if we want to survive.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

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