Dark Awakening II: Choas

It is fairly obvious to me as well as everyone else around me the transformer's experiment is almost done... i am deeply disturbed by the fact that i am being cut out of the loop and being reimbuirsed finacaly for all the effort, i am basiclly looking at this weekend as the end... after that I will take what's mine and walk away and have this dialectic choas at an end.. it's not worth the stress anymore... the whole fucking point of leaving things to the last minute and then trying to pay me to have everything ready and walk away without the real finacal benefits of the weekend is not only an insult it makes all the sacrifices and all the work of the last year pointless, i will see this thing to the end of the weekend and enjoy the one thing that is left for me to enjoy, after that it will be done... i need my life back, this neccaasary evil has run it's course and it's time to find something else, i don't want something that started as innocently as selling my children's things to become a bigger albatross around my neck then it already has been, it's time to end this... it's time to finish this game and deal with the other issues in my life, instead of some other selfish idiot's distraction, my blood and sweat and effort do not come cheap.

Current Mood: Pissed Off.
Current Music: Megadeth, Bite the Hand.

Bad bloods aren't born evil or dangerous. We are taught to be, but only because we have to if we want to survive.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth. I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable. there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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