The War XXI: The Game Plan.

An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot.

It's almost done, things are becoming exactly what they are supposed to become and i know exactly what the next step is.. there are surprises along the way and forks in the road that are unpredictable but I know where I am going and I have no fucking expectations other than to watch you burn, this is not and has not ever been about me.. and it's time next week for that to be proven, this is about a lost little boy and a delusional mother who needs to face reality and not be spoiled by the system that has enabled her bullshit actions for so long.. i know I'm fighting a losing battle.. but i also know i have and will never give up.. not until I am fucking dead... that's the long and short of it, there's no anger, not anymore.. i just want to see this, thru to the eventual end.. i don't expect there to be a true end next week but for every ending there is beginning... i'm expecting to see that. three fucking years of Hell, it's time to end that, I need my life back... not this substandard existence i have been only half living with the good half of my soul torn out of me and apart, i need to be whole agian and only judgement will bring me that.

Current Mood: Determined.
Never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter.

In modern war there is no such thing as victor and vanquished...There is only a loser, and the loser is mankind.

I'm not my father. I'm not weak.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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