The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts.
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
I don't know if i can handle another year like this, all i keep thinking about is how many Christmases have been taken away and all the things that could have been shared, I dread this holiday even more than i used to, before It has stupid foolish reasons like wanting to be alone or wanting to work thru the holiday, now all i want is the simple privilege and pleasure of watching my boy open his Christmas presents and hearing his voice and seeing him smile........
But I am being Denied that.
This is a season of giving and not darkness and melancholy, but I am sitting around not feeling a damn thing, trying my fucking level best to put on a smile and be there for loved ones... but i honestly don't know that I can do another year where I give a damn about this season without crawling into my hole and forgetting about the world.
Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: Alice Cooper - Santa Claus is coming to town
I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that many people dread the day and the obligation to give Christmas presents is a nightmare to weary, bored souls; that the children of enlightened parents no longer believe in Santa Claus; that all in all, the effort to be happy and have pleasure makes many honest hearts grow dark with despair instead of beaming with good will and cheerfulness
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