There Is Only Anger...

This power that we have comes from a dark place, but it's not who we are. And we can use it to help people.

I don't know where things are leading, and I know that some of my choices are guided by the silent rage that i can only do so much about so i focus my fucking energies elsewhere as much as i can, But that is ending, it will be done by Christmas, it's just frustrating that that is all that i have left to look forward to, I took the birthday hard as it's fucking bullshit i have all these things i could be giving my son for this holiday and by the time i'm done most of them will be only memories, another experience that has been fucking taken away. it's frustrating to know that i can give him everything but not being able to... it's a curse, it's just another reminder of how much she has taken away, and i sit here counting down days and waiting for the next step. it is a common part of my life that these material things only pass thru my life, It's happened before, It will happen agian, they are simply not important, other things have much more value to me and those things i will sacrifice everything I own to protect. I've never questioned that, and if you truly knew you would know how much more dangerous that actually makes me.

Current Mood: Angry
Current Music: Amon Amarth Deceiver of the Gods

Why should we remain innocent of what lurks in the shadows? How can we live in the world if we don't understand how dark and brutal it can be?

It is true that I am a person with black pockets of evil and hatred in my heart. There are underground places inside of me

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog