All I have left are the Bones....

It was only natural to want to destroy something you could never have.

The forces of desire that sway man's mind are the forces that will eventually destroy him, while a singular love that roots his heart makes him invincible

It's frustrating going thru the last of this stuff trying to get rid of and drain every dollar from, it is a toy graveyard and while I do occasionally find the odd interesting item it's very frustrating that most of what I have left is a mountain of fucking junk that will probaly end up on the curb, once upon a time I had a bunch of interesting shit in these bins and now it's just another worse less endeavour reminding me how much has been fucking sacrificed of my time. It's frustrating because I know once upon a time I had a lot of interesting things and now I'm moving forward and beyond these things but it still fucking sucks that none of these cool things he ever got to see, that's on his mother not me, a handful will be kept, enough for a kick ass couple of shelves but the fact remains that it's frustrating that every time I do inventory and choose what to get rid of, it's more that he will never have, material things are useless but knowing that birthdays and Christmases the last few years that have been missed were never a problem, it's just frustrating that I could have given him everything, anything from this shit, and she has denied him that. This is the worse part of the fucking year for me but the pain is lessened for me this year, but the pain will never go away. Not until this is over.

Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: Within Temptation - Whole World is Watching

Whatever doesn't destroy you, makes you stronger. Hardships have a way of toughening us, if they don't kill us.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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