You betraying me again was expected. You keep twisting the knife. Should I expect anything less or anything more. Nope. This is the game you are playing.
You and I will always be at fucking war. This is a given. You will always hurt me and I will always be fucking angry about it and I will feel betrayed. You win. You have earned my hatred again. That’s where we should stand. You hurting me is exactly what’s right in this world.
You need to look at you’re world and quit asking the world for sympathy when you’re crying. Everything wrong in you’re world save one moment with us, has always been you’re fault and you’re decision . But, of course I’m worthless and a throw away part of you’re life as you please.
Yet you always come back, I never have not in twenty years. There is a reason for that. I walked away. I didn’t fight for you. You are my heart and you fucking broke it for good when he was a baby. That’s why I never looked back and fought for you. Invited me home after you kicked me out and I had to hitchhike across Hamilton and into brantford in a blizzard, then taking my kid away multiple times? Let’s not even mention the broken fucking window in Thorold, the allegations that cost my career and my soul, I did fucking time to protect you, I could have beat it but I needed to protect you more.
You asked me to stay and not leave for Windsor or Calgary. I’ve honoured you for 3 years on that request and yet you betray me. You always betray me. It’s fucking humorous and expected. You are predictable.
I’m not even angry this time. I knew it was coming. I just don’t care. I will never care. I evolved past you and you’re childish behaviour a long time ago. And I have real fucking responsibility here, I have to care for someone else.
I’m sorry I didn’t know how to do that for you when we were together. And I know you’re jealous I won’t now. But you won’t or can’t give me that opportunity and just judge a young boy in college and his first few years of university for everything bad in you’re life, I’m not that boy anymore. Because of you I’m even more battle hardened than I was before. Because of you there is something missing from my soul.
I am broken, but you’re behaviour is constantly expected. I’m used to it, I’ve been used to it for a generation.
Look at what we made and how you’ve destroyed his life, because you’re own needs and interests are more important.
I’m not angry. You don’t deserve that from me. I heard you’re voice last week and I have felt you pulling on me all week. You don’t need me, then why do you pull on me. I’m just numb, I can’t feel anything.
I’m just trying to figure out why you come back every time you fail. There’s no future here, and one day you will hurt me enough to throw that ring into the niagara river, with me and the Kurt cobian jacket following shortly after. That’s our endgame. That’s what I think you want.
Too bad I’m stronger than that and no coward.
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