Return To Serenity.

I just want peace. For me. For you. For him. I think the easiest path is to that is together. But that’s you’re choice and you’re timeline. I don’t think you and I will ever find peace in anyone else’s arms. I think both of us know and understand that too. That’s why we fight this emotional feeling we have had since day one so hard. It shouldn’t still be here yet it is. Explain that. I can’t, I won’t. I just choose to believe in it. I don’t know why.

I think we romanticize both the good and bad parts, but that’s just it, thru all of it.. there was love. There still is. We both recognize that fact.

There is an emptiness. I do interesting things to fill it, but it’s still there it remains. It’s better when you are in my life, even on the fringes. I like where we are now. Whatever we are moving forward too. Even if it takes ages.

I just want my loved ones back. No more fighting no more arguments. Just peace between us and see where it goes. I’m making some grand gestures this summer. But if I wasn’t doing them with you and him I’d just be doing them with someone else and being empty.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

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