Policies and Procedures

I am no longer comfortable at my job when I am asked to forge documents the morning before an inspection because no one else is botghering to do their jobs, it is very clear to me how much this organization is for profit and how little I am valued, obviously They ask me to forge dates and numbers because if anyone else does it they have deniablity, but i am seriously questioning my value to this company, I am thinking I am going to continue the slow death of my career until after christmas so i can have a nice holiday with my son, my family and freinds but I'm not even sure of that because it seems that getting some decent time off to spend holidays with my son may not be availible to me, the worst part it's not about politics holding anyone down, it's misminagement and obviously no one in charge is going to bother taking accountabilty for it, It really makes me wonder the level of care these kids are getting, wait, scratch that, I know the level of care these kids are getting, they are simply being put in a holding pattern until something better that actually meets theitr needs comes along.... that was pretty evident when I read the policy and procedures manual to brush up yesterdsay and their are so many supposed things wea re supposed to be making availible to these kids in our charter that are not being made availible to them, they might cost money, they might need additional manpower, they might need a lot of excuses for why they aint done.... As bad as I had it it's not the joke that this place is. When the Finicals are more important than a human life it's time to reexamine priotitys including my own, I don't think i can ethically stay the course much longer here, and having to forge legal documents is weighing heavily on my mind.

Current Mood: Frustrated.
Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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