Skip to main content

Operation: Mindcrime

I am fucking done with this job at the earliest oppurtunity to remove myself, the inmates run the fucking asylum and at this point it's complete Anarchy, i mean taking 5 fucking handmade weapons off a client, like what the fuck, and the way some staff are dealing with these kids is boredline abusive, the fire inside me for this job has completely gone out, it's fucking time to move on, the Ministry evaluation was a farce, let's clean up the fucking house and make it look all nice and squeaky clean, the fuck? like that's going to fix things, you are merely putting a coat of paint on all the fucking problems and hoping they will go away, things won't change without drastic intervention and if it's not going to happen we are going to get shut down, i truly feel at this point wotrking for this organization is going toleave a black mark on my career, and the longer i work there the longer my carreer swirls the drain, i did not sign on to be A CYW for this, and worse i feel for what's happening to these kids, poor nutituion, poor life skills training, poor everything and a possibly abusive envoirment, it's time to leave before the stink of correuption attaches itself to me, but these kids are getting help to lead a road to nowhere, they won't get the same breaks i had, they will end up homeless, addicted and in jail....

Current Mood: Pissed off, Frustrated.
The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...