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Better.

 

I was born of fire. I started in hell in terms of my upbringing. You think you know battle? My whole life has been war. Why do you think I make such an good soldier. I am a warrior.  

The problem is now I am a warrior at peace when I need to remind myself thats not always what's needed and buried anger might not be the way to function. 


There are reasons to act that way. But there are moments that side needs to shine thru more. Even if it just to legitimize the threat.


I don't live in the in-between. I face all of my responsibilities daily. My life has never been easy but I have always dealt with them, ready to face battle.  


I want to be gentle, I want to be at peace, but I know at my core the demon is underneath. As long as he only comes out as a protective entity for those I love, me and him have an arrangement. But I dont live in dreams, I live in this world. And for all of us this world is a fucking nightmare.


I've earned my place at her table. Over and over agian That's all I need to know.


I have been doubted and undervalued more than once by people. All I always ride like a phoniex to prove them wrong. In some cases I am simply better. This is one of those cases. I dont need your blessing or judgement to do the things I'm planning. I just do them, I don't ask permission, I don't ask forgiveness and im accountable to none.i dont need to be. I dont need your approval, I never have. Nor anyone's.


I am fine with being underestimated, undervalued and disrespected someone who is beneath me. You never knew me then, you dont know me now. That much is evident. Lets keep the status quo. Safest for us all.


I will not be challenged or disrespected by someone I dont register as my equal and there are things that remain unanswered. I jjst know that I need to be the better person now, because I was always the better person then. Thats never been in question.


I just have always been under no requirement to prove myself to you, in my life, the true reality of my life, you are just adjecent, you don't exist.


Every thing in my world is black and white. There are no shades of grey. Only added Red in my Ledger. I'm trying to atone for that, but only for the things I did. Not for the things that have been done to me.


I stand tall, i stand my ground, alone or not. I will always be here. I keep my promises and my word. I try not to let them down, it takes nothing in this world to be a good soul. I am one. It's why I know I'm Better.

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