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Darkest Hours.

The only reason I am still breathing and not dead by my own hand right now is my firm conviction that i would never do anything to harm a child, specifically the child that matters the most in my life and if anyone was to harm him they would end up being the one not breathing, this weekend was extremely tough and my firm grip on my sanity seems almost trying at times, it's likes what's left.. she's used all of the skeletons in my closet to destroy me, my relationship with my son and my career... she knows what's important to me in this life and she's managed to destroy all of it with one vile action, I wonder what i ever did to make you hate me this way? to put ideas in that little boys head....I am disgusted by the thought and even worse I realize it is just another one of your chess moves and both me and him are merely pawns in your little game.... have i considered fucking off to Windsor and being a deadbeat dad? yes, I am almost convinced that if I gave you total parental rights and left that you would admit this whole bullshit game is just that a game... but then you'd be getting what you wanted.. total control... I'm not sure i ever want to give you that over him, I do know I'm not the only one with a dirty secret banging around in my closet and I've seen psychical proof of it, and i can provide dates.. so let's see how you do when i go on the offensive... I'm sick to my stomach that it has ever had to come to this.. but it's not unexpected given the nihilistic vain materialistic soulless cunt that you have come to be.

Current Mood: Depressed.
There's a lot of skeletons in my closet, but I know what they're wearing. I'm not gonna act all ashamed of it.

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