Skip to main content

War Machine.

You've actually done me a favor with this personal attack on me, instead of me being angry at you I'm angry at the system again, you've ignited fires that never should have gone out, Without your influence and trying to change myself so that you would fucking accept me as your equal which was never going to happen anyways, I'm just a possession just like you consider him.. but anyways, i have to thank you because now I know exactly who I am and that's not you, no, nothing like you, I won't accept the world as as it is... changes have to be made, no matter the personal cost and if things need to be torn down to get people to see the truth then that's what I'll have to do... This has always been a battleground for me, and i got distracted from that by you for a long time, I allowed you to change me and erase all vestiges of who i used to be....but now that person has returned angrily, with a vengeance and with an even bigger chip on my shoulder...Having being told my life's greatest achievement was a mistake and If i don't like the system i shouldn't be a part of it has really stoked the fucking fires... as someone who i have known over twenty plus years and knows me better than anyone... and Calls me at six fucking AM waking my ass up when I'm having killer insomnia... there are only a few people i'd answer to at that hour... anyways as he said... Why shouldn't I be Working in the system? I know it best... the system doesn't want people like me that know it because they know we can bring it down and they are afraid of us...I'm the best person to be working in the system, they only want to break me down so that I don't become a threat to them personally... too late oops, you fucked this up not me.. that weight is not on my shoulders, and when the dust settles i'll go back to helping kids one way or another and you'll not be on my back, i refuse to let anyone control me... she tried for years... another question.. why hasn't a lawyer been involved on her side of things? Oh yes that's right she can't afford one... the seventy thousand dollar woman who can't afford a lawyer trying to self lawyer with the use of the authorities... i stand alone because i choose to... I stand apart when i have to... but When it comes that which is most important and the only fucking thing in my life that matters.. you can bet your ass I'll have a lawyer Up in your shit as soon as possible.. I am beyond waiting waiting.. you fired the opening salvos once again this time... but in the end run neither of will win the battle and that little person that matter's the most to both of us, will end up the only one hurting and scarred.. for that i blame you.

Current Mood: Determined.
Current Music: I don't wanna be me, Type O Negative.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...
Post a Comment
Read more