Skip to main content

Old Bones...

I don't know what it is but i am starting to feel very old and disconnected with the world, every day once agian seems like I am disconnected from what's going on around me and instead of moving, i fall into familiar habits and time is standing still, i guess having a rumble in my stomach of anger is a good thing but to constantly have the fire stoked by outside sources bother's me.. i should have the fire in my belly and i never should have let myself become complacent but i shouldn't have these terrible things I'm currently experiencing be the catalyst for the strength to make change.. I never thought it would be this easy to let myself be destroyed either, but it's done.. and even tho the wheels of time slowly turn for me, waiting, waiting, waiting on other people to rightly or wrongly do their fucking jobs.... it's time for action, it's time for a return of the person i used to be... I don't back down from anyone, least of all her. at the end of the day she'll be exposed and that's the deal... so what i have to fight agian, i let my guard down that was the only reason she ever thought she could pull this off, but let's see what happens in the next few months, let's play games....I'll Win.

Current Mood: Determined.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.