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I'm trying to figure us out. Every time I have an answer you change the questions. I don't want to walk away agian ever in this lifetime. I think that's why I fight with you so hard. I need you in my life even tho you're a mindfuck. You're the most normal thing I've known in my life and as the days pass that becomes more and more obvious to me. I just want to be enough for you and not constantly get the fucking knife in my back. You are a part of my soul, you always will be.

I know who we are, isn't the people we once knew. But love remains. It isn't one sided. It never has been. We are just too stubborn to admit it to each other most of the time, and when we do, both of us have self destructive properties that sabotage everything.... That's been evident since the start. I know we are both damaged and broken, but I never wanted to break you're heart... But you think I have a hundred times. I never did intentionally. I was a child back then... That child you can't forgive. I'm a man now. I'm a different man than the one you knew but the core of both us remains. Those people we once knew will always be a part of us. There was love once... We were happy. Love remains. On some level.

Things make sense and they don't. I have changed the rules and the game by surprising you and myself with something I never thought I'd do. It's done. 

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