Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

There is always a storm. There is always rain. Some experience it. Some live through it. And others are made from it. The most important gift you can give your children is the importance of standing up to injustice. Children will remember moments spent with you. However, it isn't togetherness that creates humane parents and righteous kids. It is the example of integrity that a parent sets and the on going lessons they teach about compassion toward others throughout their lives. A good father or mother teaches their children that cruelty is not something you cause or ignore, rather it is the moment you suit up for war. There is simply no emotion for you anymore, only apathy, only a want to have the process over with no more stalling and no more games. I am aware that given our relationship that will not likely come to pass. But it's not about you and I it never has been, at least one of remembers that fact. My sole drive and the whole reason this needs to end is the welfar...

Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight. Nothing tortures your enemies more than seeing you walk with a smile of confidence on your face. I don't need to fight and risk myself just to prove that I am more stronger. All I need is to show my smile that surely will irritate them. Five fucking years, I count them everyday, I know exactly what you have done to me cunt. I know the things that you have fucking taken away. I know what have you done to the both of us and how your actions have affected all of those I truly care about. Because of you, you have damned my child to never having a normal life, because of you I don't know if the damage that has been done can ever be repaired. I know what the cost is, and it's not my fragile psyche that will need repairing, that is a curse you and only you have given our son. I'll die a martyr if it means that little boy k...

The man who shouts wins battles; the quiet man wins the war. You don't go into battle because you're sure of victory. You go into battle because it's the right thing to do. The man that I was and the man I am now are two completely diffrent people. The only things that haven't changed are my ethics, my ideals and the love I have for my son, not to mention the never ending battle. Hell has no illusions for me when I die because for the last five years I have lived in purgatory. That's what you have truly fucking taken from me, is time, not bring able to watch him grow up is hell, the worst nightmare I have ever had is the one I live and breathe every fucking day, it rots a mans soul. I hope it was worthwhile for you... Yet somehow I am a broken shell of a man that still finds the willpower to stand a fight, even when I have had more than enough reason to abandon hope all ye that enter here. No, that's my style, I might lose the war, I might lose everything,...

Some of us are born to live and to fight. Others are born to fight for their right to live. When those two collide, there’s hell to pay. Why is it that I can work in my field without an issue hypothetically yet I am supposedly not allowed to be around my children? There is an agenda at work to attempt to silence me because I have spoken out on more than one occasion in multiple media formats. I'm no stranger to other people and their agendas. Everyone has them, even me. The difference is I'm not continuing to maliciously destroy anyone life to prove a point, I am concerned that this was a last stab at me from a disgruntled employee of the government because of what's coming.... I'm also concerned about this following me the rest of my fucking life... I am miserable and at war, but it is a war I need to fight, forty years and I am defined by only one thing, who and what my circumstances were when I was fucking eight years old, the system moulded me, made me what I am.....

Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it. There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man. I don't like being a prisoner, and I like being caged even less. I live the way I have always lived, by my wits. Even when the name of the game is survival. There was a time when I wanted material things and a time when I didn't. Now I'm just merely frustrated and wondering the next step in my life, I fucking hate roadblocks. I've always moved forward in my life and never backed down from anything or anyone, this bullshit of just waiting plays upon the mind. It was one thing when I had distractions to play upon the mind and made some of the pain a little less immediate, but the last few years will only be remembered as a monument to my child, nothing more, a glass shelf of things that could have been and what's left, a f...

Choosing battle is one thing, and quitting battle is cowardice and I can't imagine doing that Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory. It's time for another chapter in the War against the System, It's never going to be About Just my relationship with my ex wife, even tho she has caused it.... As long as I am, who I am is always going to be The opposite side of the card against that fucking broken System, I've known since I was young that i would always be fighting them, It's not just about my Son anymore, I have other children that need to be protected from the System and the threat that is coming.. The Only way I really know how to defeat a fucking threat is to be a bigger fucking threat... I'm strapped and ready for the fight, and this is where both the anger and intellect come into play.... I am a physical presence ...

The brutalities of wolves are not for enjoyment and pleasure; they are all just for the survival. There is going to be a fucking serious reevaluation of my life in the near future because the way things stand right now I am less than fucking happy... In fact miserable is the word. If hanging on to prove a point is the only reason to do so, why the fuck am I still here? I'm sick of starving and busking for my dinner while others enjoy the fruits of my labors, decisions are going to be made.... I only have so much fucking patience for anyone, and when I get fed up look the fuck out, I don't mind using my wits for fucking survival, but it's frustrating when I have other options and questions remain why I'm not at all being productive about them. I'm fed up with everything as they stand in my life, and if it's all about choosing your battles, very soon there are going to be some battles I don't care enough about to fight, even if it hurts me personally or fina...