The Ninth Circle Of Hell.

Predictably, without a doubt the System Fails again, November is my next court date... Can the wheels on this bus stall any more? the last week all the positive energy that I had received from my life has been torn from my fucking bones. only anger remains against my betrayer and the ones that assisted that betrayal, from her I am not surprised but the fact that it was a concentrated effort assisted by the state and now when their stories do not match and their games are falling apart does it become clear that They will not allow me to win because IF I win and prove them all fucking wrong.. this they cannot allow... so they stall, they play games, they don't allow a man to have his freedom, because without freedom one is dead.. It's about the game, it's what funds the system, why make a decision or have the wheels of justice move any faster when you can stick something in the wheel and make it grind to a halt... I'm used to the stall tactics, I'm used to the fact that If something can be avoided it will be avoided for as long as humanly and legally possible... I will be looking down from the seventh Circle of my Violent Hell... while you are in the Ninth Circle.... I am sure you know exactly what that hole is reserved for.

Current Mood: Angry.
I want you to remember my hand at your throat. I want you to remember the one man who beat you.

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

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