Skip to main content

The Seventh Circle Of Hell.

I am a warrior, I would rather Not be one But that is my lot in life, everything in one way or another since childhood has been a battle, even in the happier times their was always something to fight something to rail against... this is not a life I want for my child... He does not have to suffer the never ending battle that my life has became and/or has always been...She should know better... I should not be sitting around every waking day waiting for the day that the battle will end.... that i can close this war journal and go to my resting place...but I know that place will not be welcoming even tho it will be a long and justily deserved Hell that I go into... at the seventh level reserved for the Violent and angry, it still beats the layer reserved for the betrayers and the treasonous.. I know exactly who I am, I am a Warrior, I have existed at the void for so long, Staring a hell's gate... it has stared back into me as well, it is a part of me. I am angry, I am violent about what i believe in.... the fires of hell within me are internalized.... it is what drives me... without anger there is nothing left any more.... I may show a calm exterior because I have to but sometimes i wonder if letting go, letting the Emotion take control would be a better solution, This calmness and the fact i have had to bury the fire so far down below for so many years and be a normal person when it is a fact that it has always been there, just under the skin simmering... I was a lot angrier when you knew me... why did I change why Did i attempt to please everyone to get a little ahead.. when i ascend into hell, there will only be two choices but it's on this earth that I fight the Unholiest of wars.... a battle that Must be won....I will endure.

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Iron Maiden, The Longest Day
They laugh at the law. The rich ones who buy it and twist it to their whims. The other ones, who have nothing to lose, who don't care about themselves, or other people. All the ones who think they're above the law, or outside it, or beyond it. They know all the law is good for is to keep good people in line. And they all laugh. They laugh at the law. But they don't laugh at me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more