Skip to main content

Dark Clouds...

I know right now I am under some extreme dark clouds and that while i may be responsible for some of the bullshit i am currently enduring this feels like Disproportionate punishment, I didn't do anything except try and protect myself and because of one of the few fucking ethics i still hold myself to, I am suffering.. How fair is that? for the last 6 months or so i have be controlled by someone to the extent that It might has well have been a relationship.. Used as a fucking babysitter, used as a fucking replacement father, used for whatever I could be.. I finally start moving away from that and this fucking bitch turns crazy ape shit and try to destroy my life? this is a learning experience and not one that will be forgotten very soon.. I'm sick of this fucking bullshit in my life... I'm sick of my life...everything and anything that is a positive in my life turns to shit... i should be sitting down enjoying the grey cup with my child but instead I am sitting here wondering what the fuck will happen to his belongings...

Current Mood: Fuck the world.
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Villian

I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild.  I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them.  It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done.  I am making choices for my future and its pret...