Skip to main content

Darkness Rising....

The patience level is fucking gone...if any of my fucking shit is stolen or missing there will be some serious criminal charges laid...apparently some bitch has taken it upon herself to pack my things and place them in a less secure area of the house... this is a fucking nightmare and has been for some time... there is no fucking point anymore in giving a damn about anything, I am trapped in fucking limbo and I don't know what the hell I am doing other than the fact that someone has seriously damaged me for no good reason other than jealousy and greed, and it's fucking sad. i don't take grievous wounds lightly and I will seriously fuck up anyone who decides to affect me or my children's stuff with malicious intent... this is fucking bullshit... all i ever did was help this woman and her family... and now she is directly trying to affect me by doing damage... i am not patient nor am I happy right now.. if anything has been damaged or stolen I plan to raise hell... I'm no longer staring into the darkness and waiting for it to look back... it am completely immersed in the void, it is a part of me.. what the fuck is the point of being able to without anger and rage when my life keeps getting turned to shit and more and more damage is happening to my life.. one day i will loose complete control of my fucking emotions and when that day comes.. look out.. i will have given up... I will no longer care... and that day is Coming.... soon.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.

A new wound makes all the old ones ache again.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more