Darkness Rising II

I am one step away from walking away from everything and saying fuck it.. the battles are not worth it anymore.. my things are being withheld damaged and destroyed and no one cares... I worked fucking hard for things to turn to shit and you know what, it's just as fucking easy for me to walk the fuck away from everyone and everything and start over.. I have stopped fucking caring.. I'm Sick Of being the bad guy, I'm sick of being the Criminal, I'm sick of trying to play by the rules to have some selfish Cunt whoever it might be at the time dictating what I'm supposed to be doing with my stuff and i'm just sick of my life.. all my life i worked hard and tried to be something better and now I'm just looking at the fact that I've done nothing majorly wrong and I'm getting walked all over and having my stuff possibly destroyed or stolen and No one seems to give a damn.. I've stopped giving a damn in return... it's probably time to walk away and stop caring...I'm not caring anymore... I have been treated like a dog for too long in my life.. and now Violently my life is being taken away from because of selfish cocksucker? it's probably time for me to look deep within my fucking darkness and let it become a part of me.. what the fuck is the point of material possessions when someone can use the law to steal them from me... I give up, I just don't care anymore. there's no point.. I'm staring into the darkness and the void and it's not staring back.. it's a fucking mirror. no longer am I going to allow anyone into my life that doesn't deserve to be there.

Current Mood: Angry, Rage, Depressed.
Current Music:Pantera, I'm Broken
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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