.... and now the list of fucking demands.... Wrong.. I ain't about to be paying for a small little room when the paperwork clearly states that it's a bedroom basement apartment... you wanna play fucking games... I can play fucking games too... it's doesn't have to be physical for me to light a match... all I have to do is make a few phone calls and make a few other people aware, don't think i've already started the process to protect myself, what the fuck you don't think i have Options? Wrong... I don't need motherfuckers in my life making my life worse, and the fact that I owed man hours and i am being treated like shit when I am only trying to fucking help? you are fucking lucky i am not the fucking man i was in 1994... you would not have fucking liked me back then, Hell I don't like the man i was back then, but you know I respect him... he didn't fear the world and he didn't like people like you and responded in kind... in fact that's kinda why i respect him, if i could go back i probaly wouldn't but i like going back and looking on my past and wondering was all this fucking self improvement worth it? college and University got me exactly where? fighting for housing and a fucking cheque when i could have fucking sat there and had disibilty? I'm sick of being around selfish people that only think about themselves, if i wanted to I could destroy your life but that's not the person I am anymore, but i'm still not that kind of person that is going to be fucking controlled... fucking put it in writing or fuck off... also, be aware i can file a police report whenever the fuck i want and i know exactly the hell that would bring down upon you... you wanna play games bitch? i'm arrogant and i can be vengeful, that part of me may be fucking deeply buried but if you wanna get vindictive i can play the same game and play the same fucking cards.. you will loose...I'm sick of feeling like I'm in a fucking relationship without any of the fringe benefits... I am no ones fucking husband, No ones husband... and Only one little man's father.. I've been a fucking surrogate of all three of those fucking roles recently and I'm sick of it, other fucking people like my freinds and my family are more worthy of my time than your fucking demands of it... and I know that there is also some jealosy about my finacial situation, well here's a fucking newsflash, it ain't easy and there's a lot more fucking work to it than you fucking see... but seeing how you don't give a fucking damn you see another fucking cent... and more than that your decison's will cost you some fucking money bitch... how about about dem repairs that were never done... i've got you by the balls bitch, and right now i'm just going with the silent treatment because i've got more important battle's to fight and you are merely an annoyance, a speck of dust in my rear view mirror that i've already washed away... i have no fucking problem walking away, whatchu think youre the first fucking useless person i've walked away from? my entire past is littered with people i don't give a damn about, that includes the ex wife... and having the balls to have an opinion on my fucking child has been yet another beserk button you keep grinding agianst.. get your own affairs in fucking order before giving me advice on a battle i have been fighting long before we met... I don't need your fucking advice, in fact i deliberatly ignore it. it won't take nothing to walk away, but I don't give a fuck, never have... this is my world and i might as well be like you and get more selfish and angrier and be ready to battle.. i look to the past for a reminder of who I used to be, and who i should still be, I have my demons but they are mine.. you need to fucking address yours and one of them is control... and if you've learned anything from me from the last year is that i am choas and I don't respond well to being controlled... in fact the more you try the more i will rebel... I don't have time to listen when someone breaks the boundries and punches me in the face... that's truly the shortest straw but here's the fun part.. everything's been recorded and when i want to fucking use it, you're fucking done. Have a nice day. I'm a lot fucking stronger than i was a year ago and willing to have shit shoveled and saying thank you for it, at this point the only one in control of this fucking game is me... and when you break the fucking rules it's fair game for me to do the same, and you have so much more to lose than I do... in fact that's part of the game.. i can do anything, because from my perspective i have nothing to lose, what the fuck is the use of still being noble and not fucking you over when it would take more fingers and toes to list the times that you have fucked me over... that I have considered certain things recently and taken a long hard look at the darkness and the demons that stare me in the mirror and decided i would rather be alone and fight all my battles alone than have to deal with someone that constantly stabs me in the back... If i wanted that I'd just return to the fucking ex wife... at least that way I'd have my son... the battle lines are drawn but i'm not going to fight back until i need to... unlike you i dont use fucking words as weapons, and i don't lose myself to the fucking rage and hit back... if i needed to i could put my fist thru a wall right in front of you and show you fucking fear but instead i'm just brooding pateintly waiting for you to make a mistake... you've already pissed me off that's the first one.. you're little laundry list of demands that's number 2.. keep going. I've played this game a hundred times with better men and and women... and i know my rights.. and i won't be broken by a greedy and jealous person... It's about standing my ground just like everything else in my life all I need to do is stand my ground... One finger in the Air FUCK YOU!!!
Current Mood: Angry, Determined... Lighting a match.
Current Music: Eminem, Legacy
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If people speak or act with evil thoughts, pain follows them. If people speak or act with pure thoughts, happiness follows them, like a shadow that never leaves them.
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