It's almost over, another bad decision I never should have fucking made ends tomorrow, and I will likely never have to bother looking back at the year of misery ever again, if i can be removed from the fabric of someone's life this easily, they can be just as easily removed from the picture of memory, Not that I give a damn, it's not like it was a fucking relationship... It was just a bad situation where things got out of hand and a greedy and vindictive soul got in the way.. if nothing else it is a lesson I should have never needed to learn, I am a cold and frozen soul, Only those that I should be keeping close should mean anything to me, and that sometimes some of these people that I have had to deal with in the last year have only had their own interests at heart which is fine.. Now I do.. If i wanted to, I could do damage... The only burden on my soul to doing so is that their would be some massive collateral damage, on a few innocent souls that I hold no Malice toward. However i do Hold some malice towards those that have placed me in this situation, Friend and Foe Alike on the other hand, I do hold some malice towards.... there are individuals in my life that have some responsibility for the situation other than me, but there are also people on the other side of the balance that refuse to take any responsibility and paint themselves into a corner as a victim, when in reality they are anything but one.. I am No victim,I refuse to ever act like a fucking victim and cry the blues... I am a man, I admit when i am wrong, This time I am not. I am not the one playing Victim here, I am not the one that's delivering the Injustice. Things that should be fucking simple are turning into horrible fucking wait's of time and extremely complicated, I'm not the one playing games here, I just want to be gone and disappear, the same way I have every time before, Only to become someone elsewhere. I'm fed up.. it's a game... And I am dictated by yet another person in my life that want's control.... If you know anything about me, I reject being controlled, I am not a person to be controlled....The tighter the noose the harder the fight.... I may fuck up but i take responsibility for my life and for my actions... and I choose that My life and actions do not bring harm to anyone else, However other's do not hold themselves to this High standard and there are some who's relationship's post tomorrow are going to evaluated and there are some who are only a fucking part of my rear view mirror never to be seen again, I have war's to fight, Momentous battles... If you are standing by me on this field i will remember if you are not, to hell with you, I have lived in too many private hell's in my life to reminisce about people who do nothing for me or by their actions have my life harder, when i have tried to be there for them. It's time to be cold, it's time to be angry, and for the most part it's time to be Alone.
Current Mood: Angry.
All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.
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