Creeping Darkness

I am Sick of sitting around Just waiting for my life to change, I sit patiently waiting for things to change and then i have had people take advantage of my situation to exploit me... i've done nothing fucking wrong and i feel so much more like a prisoner in my own life...i should let the darkness consume me and the anger and the rage overtake.... If I was a lesser man it would have happened already but you know what i've always tried to be the person that I am and always will be, but i can look back on the past and realize so many things about myself and my emotions and realize their's really no reason for me to have fucking kept them in check.... every-time i do it's another betrayal another stab in the fucking back.... at least the reality is i am at a fucking point in my life where i am about to close down and only have the important people in my life surrounding me, everyone else can fuck off...care and respect for those that have not earned it are futile emotions... i know i've made mistakes in my life and I gladly own up to them but when i have had emotional vampires surrounding me for so long it's time to cut them off.. i don't need greedy people in my life or the kind of people who only need me when they need something.... they want to see the real fucking me... here I am, here you are not.. that's the way things are going to be from now on..

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Creeping Death, Metallica
There are times in everyone's life when something constructive is born out of adversity... when things seem so bad that you've got to grab your fate by the shoulders and shake it.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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