Skip to main content

End Of An Era.....

I bought a New Motorcycle jacket today and it does signify a lot of things... One it is other than my sneakers only the second thing clothes wise i have bought from myself from my new enterprise, and 2. it is about ten years since i bought my beat up and broken Danier jacket that I bought because Someone i was deeply soul mated to at the time had one.. Unfortunate it was the same day i was considering buying her ring and we all know how that turned out... So it's a kinda lousy memory... it was a good jacket for many years but like a lot of things in my life it needs to be part of my past and I can have something else, it's time to build on the future instead of having one foot already in the grave and the other firmly planted in my past... I met you because of Kurt (original leather jacket airbrushed with Kobian for those of you wondering.) and I bought the Danier because of the connection we had and the other thing i was going to by that day... why you never received the other thing was a product of your decisions, just like everything in the last ten years is a product of your decision, but i have long since moved on, and I wonder if your hatred of me and the world around will ever allow you to do that same.. somehow i doubt it.. but it's not my soul you hold in balance for me packing a memory or 2 in the closet and starting anew is a good thing, less emotional attachment and when i wear this one I am reminded that I earned it not that i blew 300 dollars on something because i wanted to have one like your yours instead of a beat up airbrushed rag. it's about choices in this life, am not as happy as i currently in my life because things aren't fucking perfect and things that have been taken away from me never should have.. but I am making it work, and i can see light at the end of the tunnel and a future ahead of me... there is no more time for dwelling in the past.. some of my old coats are a symbol of that.. This New one isn't.

Current Mood: Determined.
Current Music: The Shortest Straw,Metallica

We need not destroy the past. It is gone.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Villian

I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild.  I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them.  It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done.  I am making choices for my future and its pret...
Post a Comment
Read more