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Friday the 13th...

My life holds plenty of questions for me and sometimes, days like today have me wondering what could have been and why in some people lives that i was once close why that I am on the outside looking in.. of course some of the reasons and rational can be ascribed to a certain person who i have had to sacrifice things for..other things are for entirely different reasons, i can't help but feel removed from my friends and some other people because i made a choice and left solid friendships forever damaged... I know that i have always been the nomadic type but it is still annoying to see who is truly my friends and has my back in times of sorrow and need and who is merely someone who say they are my friend but really all they are is someone i used to know, i understand this well, it's faded glory and old memories that somehow i am trying to live thru on my vacation to quicken me once again, I can't go back to the person i was.. and for once that person was taken away from me not of my choice... I have changed, people around me have changed.. and only those closest to me know really who I am.. and some of them are proving themselves and others are in their own way proving themselves... I can never question the choice i made because it was the only choice, but it saddens me to see what is the ruins of the life i had here.. who matters here and who doesn't... it will make the choice to return or not that much easier in November.

Current Mood: Sad.

If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost.


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