There Goes The Neighborhood....

it is very clear to me that I have followed the wrong path in choosing to leave Windsor, This is my place, this is where I am supposed to be, the darker parts of my world don't exist here and that's the way it should be, i have to give some serious consideration to returning, there is a house with a room for both me and my little boy and there are opportunities here, maybe it's time to push and get my life back in order instead of letting the deceiver manipulate things to the point where she once again controls my life... she left once, she should never have been allowed to return to stab me in the back, when i look on the wreckage of my life it is not from here, It is my choices and my decisions alone that defined that... but maybe the possibility of healing is the choice.. to return home... and that's what this place is.. there is no past and no destiny for me here.. only that which i defined, not anyone else....and i am still the master and the determinator of that destiny.... this is Home... this is where my happiest memories are, and this is where I should be... only one thing prevents that, and that is the love for my son, but if it comes down to it.. I will make both realities work, i never should have sacrificed one for the other, This is Home... but my Heart resides Elsewhere.

Current Mood: Happy, but Sad too.
Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

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