Skip to main content

.....Without A Trace.

It would be very easy to leave my current life behind and return to my established life that part of my soul has never truly left in Windsor, large chunks of my soul are located here, and their is only one thing keeping me from returning full time, i cannot say that regret leaving because I don't... their were bigger things to deal with at the time.. but this is the choice not taken and the options are here, the friends are here, and the personalities i like to surround myself with are here... here it's just like I never left.... Hamilton, I am a ghost rotting in an empty house, all my accomplishments there are gone and I am barely holding on... it's much easier to deal with the devil I know from here than to wonder what the future holds and the future will be there.... The push will begin very soon when i return back to Hamilton, but it would be very fucking easy to pack up and forgot about the whole central region and just come home.... here, i could be on my street where i lived, doing whatever the fuck I want hiding in plain sight, yet it would require effort to find me... the deal breaker's gonna be November, but i am seriously thinking fuck it all and coming back home.... dispeearing without a trace. I belong here, Not elsewhere, trying to make a go at a life that was never truly mine but instead was forced on me by circumstances.

Current Mood: Determined.
The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.