This Was My Life II

I am comfortable here and I am Happy, but I am aware that my time here is limited and that responsibilities call me elsewhere when my vacation is done, but I am back in Windsor for a reason and I have a game plan for the end of the year which will affect things in more than one way and will no longer be me counting the days and looking at the walls of my apartment... Change needs to happen, If i had known what the world would look like today certain sacrifices would have been made differently... it's sad that my life has turned into an episode of Maury, and how different had my life been If it had been you're not the Father... But i am the father and every decision and action in my life then and now reflects that, that being said there is no fucking reason why i can't accomplish what i set out to do in the first place and get my life back together, If i am only going to be a weekend dad why don't I go back to school, regardless of anything she can try she can never take away from my mind, My determination, and my intellect.

Current Mood: Determined.

Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog