He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask) III

I am Comfortable here, this place has always been more home and the only place I ever put down any real roots... my friends are here and non judgmental and I can do what I want and need to do out here without having to answer to anyone other than the voices in my own head.. I should never have left, when i lived here i was an individual and I did what i wanted to, not any preconceived notion of what path i should follow... years ago i changed that to be the role that is the most important but at this stage in the game if i can go back to what i was years ago it's worth consideration, it's not going to be an overnight decision but I am thinking that rather than standing still in Hamilton I can be moving forward here, University is something she can never take away from me... and if i go back and take a course and try and get into the third year of the program i actually want to be in after getting that course, she can't take that away either.. I am seriously considered a possible return full time to Windsor once everything get's sorted, i can see a future here... In Hamilton, not so much... one it's about being where I want to be.. but two... if everything is going to be stripped away from me constantly anyways... why not do it somewhere without a past, somewhere i belong... here I exsist, Just me.. no history... No judgements... I have proved the man I am here on my own merits... their is no bullshit attached to muddy the waters and drag me down.. and that's the way it always should have been.

Current Mood: Determined.
The last I heard from my destiny, it wanted me to make a legal U-Turn at my next opportunity.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog