Skip to main content

He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask) III

I am Comfortable here, this place has always been more home and the only place I ever put down any real roots... my friends are here and non judgmental and I can do what I want and need to do out here without having to answer to anyone other than the voices in my own head.. I should never have left, when i lived here i was an individual and I did what i wanted to, not any preconceived notion of what path i should follow... years ago i changed that to be the role that is the most important but at this stage in the game if i can go back to what i was years ago it's worth consideration, it's not going to be an overnight decision but I am thinking that rather than standing still in Hamilton I can be moving forward here, University is something she can never take away from me... and if i go back and take a course and try and get into the third year of the program i actually want to be in after getting that course, she can't take that away either.. I am seriously considered a possible return full time to Windsor once everything get's sorted, i can see a future here... In Hamilton, not so much... one it's about being where I want to be.. but two... if everything is going to be stripped away from me constantly anyways... why not do it somewhere without a past, somewhere i belong... here I exsist, Just me.. no history... No judgements... I have proved the man I am here on my own merits... their is no bullshit attached to muddy the waters and drag me down.. and that's the way it always should have been.

Current Mood: Determined.
The last I heard from my destiny, it wanted me to make a legal U-Turn at my next opportunity.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more