Skip to main content

He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask) III

I am Comfortable here, this place has always been more home and the only place I ever put down any real roots... my friends are here and non judgmental and I can do what I want and need to do out here without having to answer to anyone other than the voices in my own head.. I should never have left, when i lived here i was an individual and I did what i wanted to, not any preconceived notion of what path i should follow... years ago i changed that to be the role that is the most important but at this stage in the game if i can go back to what i was years ago it's worth consideration, it's not going to be an overnight decision but I am thinking that rather than standing still in Hamilton I can be moving forward here, University is something she can never take away from me... and if i go back and take a course and try and get into the third year of the program i actually want to be in after getting that course, she can't take that away either.. I am seriously considered a possible return full time to Windsor once everything get's sorted, i can see a future here... In Hamilton, not so much... one it's about being where I want to be.. but two... if everything is going to be stripped away from me constantly anyways... why not do it somewhere without a past, somewhere i belong... here I exsist, Just me.. no history... No judgements... I have proved the man I am here on my own merits... their is no bullshit attached to muddy the waters and drag me down.. and that's the way it always should have been.

Current Mood: Determined.
The last I heard from my destiny, it wanted me to make a legal U-Turn at my next opportunity.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.