The fact I have and have always suspected you of drug use because of your erratic behaviour and decisions over the years shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. You’re life is falling apart and you are the only one hiding bullshit anymore. I have nothing to hide and I don’t do drugs. I am losing patience with the person that you are. I no longer believe you to be the person I once knew. I’m not even sure that person ever existed and wasn’t just a mask of your real personality. I’m not sure I ever really knew you. I know what it’s like to be an alcoholic, I am one. That’s why when I drink it’s very controlled. And I know drug addicts, and you’re behaviours just seem to get worse digging that fucking hole. The people you are with and the rumours that I have tried not to hear for decades all correspond. I no longer feel any guilt for thinking I was the lesser person. I know that I’m not. I did everything I could and it was never enough for you. I am the better person, and I’ll be the bett
The war is over. Every battle needed to be fought is done. I’m slowly picking up the pieces of what’s left of my life and moving on. I used to think all we were in each other others life was the constants that we would always find a way back to. But the fucking reality is that you are the anchor around my neck dragging me down. You might as well a be fucking noose. You’ve always been the albatross. You were never the bird of good fortune, you brought my life to ruin and even this little bit of a moment where I’m happy all in my own little universe, you have me doubting that. That’s ok, I won’t let you destroy it this time, that’s my job. I’ll burn it down myself agian instead. Once I had hoped for a different outcome, but I know now that only one of us lives in a reality that would allow for that. One of us ends up broken and hurt and longing for a world that was barely a moment two decades ago. And the other pretends nostalgic when someone or something is missing in her black hole