There's nothing left to fight for. Win or lose we fought the battle till the end. And then it just ended. Whatever we are, whatever we were, its spent five fucking years being a ghost of what it once was.. I stopped fighting long ago when I made peace with you, but every fucking day its still a fucking war In my head. I still question every moment and wonder when the next moment is coming. Waxing poetically I think it was better when I had something to fight, either for you or agianst you. This nothingness removes you from my life too often and nothing replaces it. Its just easier with every big moment to be become even more numb and continue on. Because thats status quo, I'm not comfortable with that. I'm also not the one to let the walls fall if we made a change, see my life my castles are in ruins. All that crumbles now are your illusions if you ever choose to face the truth. Ill just dance in the rotting bones that remain of both of our lives, with or without you and...
Have we finally reached a finality? Is this the moment where I once agian walk away for good. I feel nothing for making an effort anymore and wonder how much of the last few years has been performative or of the thought i had nothing left. Five fucking years ago I bought that ring. It was all I had left then and it was done in anger then, now im not even sure you deserve that energy. Im just done. There is nothing left. Nothing owed and Nothing left to give. I have made every attempt. There is no reason any longer to try. So I won't. You win. This is your happy ending. Me as the constant villian for your story to line up as it should. My life is still better for knowing you and aspiring to be a better person but I didn't destroy me, thats on you. That's always been on you. My failure then and now and likely forever is not recognizing it, blinded by my emotions I allowed you to manipulate me into the box I am in. I should have walked away then, I am walking away now. You ha...