I do things that make me happy and create memories. Things may change in mu life significantly in quick succession or I may be status quo for a long time... either way I plan to be happy and have adventures as long as I can. That's who I need to be. That's where I am happiest. In moments. I like who I am. I like what my life is no. I don't need a partner to define who I am. Neither does she. We have separate lives but we are in each other's orbit. However, no one threatens her, much less my son. And one would do well to keep in mind that fact, as well as the fact that I constantly enter the pit to throw around and slam dance with guys that are half my age. Im still doing it because its one way to assist with emotions. Emotions that are currently bubbling over. And not in a positive way. I will deal with both positive and negative emotions when I have to. The angry music scene helps me deal with that. When my world is a maelstrom going to a pit helps get some of those em...
Part of me having peace in my life is you having peace in yours. I'm not happy right now that it seems like this is something you no longer have. When it seems like the only thing in this life that can give you peace is me, maybe it's time to explore that possibility. Always being there for you is a curse. I know why I do it and why that phone call will never be unanswered no matter the time of fucking day. Going to sleep angry because I feel helpless and not sleeping and then waking up still angry isn't helping you, him or I at all. We need to make some changes. It might be time for me to be proactive on some of them rather than waiting for something to happen. There is a reason I will never allow you to save me. The first being that I don't need saving. My destiny is my own and you're help gives you more control than I'm willing to concede to you. The second is I'm the knight in tainted armor that should be saving you. This is how I was raised. The hero sa...