Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

As far as I'm concerened as soon as one of my good freinds i paid back everything that I owe him from stock, I am done with the TOY show thing permanently...there isn't a major show till january and anything of major importance that needs to take up my fucking time is isn't until may, this is becoming a drain instead of anything fun or anything worthwhile, it costs more, and this is yet another major show where I didn't get paid.. however thanks to another freind being true to his word and two of the gentlemen pictured aboved, i did well enough that being paid was a moot point, still it doesn't matter... i have other options, responsibilties and priorities, this thing did what it was meant to, and i only stayed on this long to deal with the fact that i was owed a lot of things post tf con. I'm doing sacrificing for other people who's intrest's and agenda's arent mine.. I take care of myself, I can help you i am grateful to, but i need to mercanary an

14 years of silence Its been 14 years of pain Its been 14 years that are gone forever And I'll never have again Happy 14th anniversary Cunt... i should have left you on the side of the street in the gutter where you belonged. I am having diffifuculties dealing with the fact that as of today it has actually been fourteen fucking years since you entered my life on a permanent basis, and completely fucking destroyed it.. you, who knew everything about me, and exactly who I am, for fucks sake... i met you on the first week of my second year of college to be a child and youth and youth worker, you edited most of my paper's, i trusted you completely, and for you to have used all that you know to destroy me shows your true colours, colours i should have always known.. once you were my heart and soul, that was a very long time ago, My soul died a long time ago, as did most of my black heart.. what remains are the peices that have always been there, the peices that were there

Wars are the strongest evidence for the claim that man is still a wild animal. I don't like finding out today that this so called counselling has been availible for the last year and that the wall of confidentiality and silence is still pervasive.. I understand it, I have been a part of the system for so many years i know exactly what can and canot be talked about... but Finding out that this counselling has been arranged since shortly after may 22nd 2013, i am angry and ballastic, there is a reason i am at war.. and this has been three plus years of fighting... when something needs to be fucking done I get it done.. but when i find out that games are being played behind my back and the truth is a bit less than what has been let and it is clear someone is in in contempt and playing games to continue the process and or to get me to go away? I don't like that it is clear this counselling has been availible since the get go and that Stalling has happened for over a year because