Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Watching and helping a friend deal with the fact the system has no accountability and a child had been lost makes me think I want to double my efforts to go back to work and make some change from behind the walls of the system. They are cutthroat cowards who need to be dealt with and I will stand behind my friends, even if I have idealogical and ethical differences with them. I know what's it's like to lose a child, the difference is there's a possibility however faint I may be able to get that child home, this little guy will never have that opportunity, he's been lost...thanks to Niagara family and children's services (see also Niagara children's aid, Niagara Falls and area Ontario child protective services.) and there twisted and corrupt decisions. Last night me and my partner did everything we could to help, some things transcend petty bullshit, some times you have to put all that aside to deal with what really matters. July 26, 2015 it was about standing th

The world seems dark and ugly sometimes. But there are still good things in it. And good people. Whenever it gets too dark, think of the good things you have, the good times you've had. It will help. I promise. Another fucking day where I cannot wait for the Monolith of plastic garbage to go away, it's going to be nice after next weekend to likely say goodbye to this shit, but it is also frustrating that another year has ticked by in which while there have been changes in my life both positive and negative the thing i have to hold onto is a bunch of plastic shit that my son will likely never see except for what I keep for him, I'm frustrated, this shouldn't be my income and I am getting ready for it to go back to what it should have been originally, a hobby a handful of nice things for me and my little boy... Only thing is he's not so little anymore.. More on that battle later.. but the battle inside my head over whether or not this toy gig is a worthwhile ende

You will probably find, in life, that successes and victories tend to overshadow the risks you took, while failure will amplify how idiotic they were. I don't like the idea of going to home to deal with this crap... it has top be done but the last few months have been a nice distraction from the fact that i have a locker full of plastic garbage that has overtaken my soul, there are other reason to spend the rest of this month at home and deal with things but I am trying to avoid the fact that for the next week i will be rushing to get stuff packed and done so that I can get a few bucks in my pocket and hopefully not take a complete fucking bath at this stupid shit show i should have walked away from a year ago.. Now I have no choice, once everything Is gone.. Hopefully next weekend I will be fucking happy, better than that, I will be Fucking Done. I have put three years into this thing and have seen a lot of fucking people for what they truly are and I know that certain people i

I've always thought of myself as a monster and acted accordingly. This drawing to a close on this toy bullshit and While it has been a worthwhile endeavor it has also stripped the bones from my back. it has been fun but it has also been a huge pain in the ass full of politics, bullshit and thieves... there are ten days till this thing either pays off or falls flat on my face, a calculated risk I am more than willing to take.. but the plan is to end where I began with nothing... i don't want to continue paying for a locker that I don't care about, I am just waiting for the albatross to leave my neck, I don't harbor any regrets as It has provided for the last few years but there is a time and a place for it to end and the fact is, it's not a core or defining part of me.. it was just an interesting experience.. the decisions I have to make at this point is what I want to have and what I want to keep. I am seriously considering liquidating everything and only keeping