Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

nuff said. Current Mood: amazingly loved Current Music: Smokin in the Boys Room, Brownsville station.

can we be any more miserable? i love when people play games and leave things till the last minute and decide to make fucking demands. this is a great coda to my week off.. new girl and really enjoying myself and looking forward to this weekend and having someone try and set my off on route was not fun.. i mean hanging out with someone of similar age has really opened me up to she who shall not be named's immaturity. i'm really enjoying hanging out with my new girl... maybe i'll stay in windsor now and just trek down here on the weekend. Current Mood:Miserable, just like you. Current Music: Spirit of Radio, Rush.

so I guess I am apperently the self proclaimed Punk Rock King of Windsor Ontario as i was informed last night by someone. it should be interesting to see if anyone rembers me in St. Catherines. maybe i'll stop playing guitar completely and just drink my face and wallet off every weekend instead.. nah i'm way more responsible than that. it's going to be weird leaving here.. i know everyone Downtown here and have so many freinds in this city and so many contacts... i have a couple good freinds in Niagra but not as many as here.. thanks to She who shall not be named i burnt a lot of fucking bridges down there.. then agian she's not important.. i have the best reason for returning to the golden horsehoe ever... the next generation.. more important now than any of my petty alliances or goals. Current Mood:tired Current Music: Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden.

nothing like being ignored... such a great feeling. it's raining outside.. wet. it could be worse i could be travelling. it's nice to see people play games as usual. nothing more to say here tonight. Current Mood: angry. Current Music: nothing.

guess you have nothing better to do than play mental mindgames.. that's ok i will remeber this and everything else anytime that you ask me for a fuckin' favor... i don't like sitting and stewing for 2 days. you could at least acknowledge me.. of course i'm beneath you aren't I? too bad i'm busy pulling myself high above you to care. i can always entertain myself with my interesting life i haven't settled into a groove the way you seem to have.. i can explore and do whatever i want.. the future is open to me.. unlike you i'm not tied to one area and one set of ideas. Current Mood: Pissed Current Music: Whiplash, Metallica.

never got downtown. waiting on an email. had a couple of good conversations tonight. went and got food and then come back to the lab to talk to my peeps. really starting to get used to the idea i'm no longer tied to my academic obligations. ... and you know what that means? if i'm not working i have no life. how sad is that? never thought my own laziness would inspire me to get my ass employed asap. of course then again the last time i was in this position i had no responibilties and was a much younger man.. i've mellowed out some.. instead of being an angry young man i've become an angry and bittter thirty something. im am aware that i'm getting older and that some of my best days are behind me. now it's just time to make the best of the days left. no regrets, no hesitation into going into what happens next.. even if it is a mystery and confusing as hell. Current Mood: Annoyed Current Music: David Bowie, Space Oddity.

no more video collection for me.. time to really get into dvd's. sold the rest of today's collection at dr. disc.. made 40 bucks for the last box of em.. better than moving em. it's weird not having anything to do i've been working so hard for the last few months and it's like i don't know what to do with myself now. maybe i'll take the guitar out for a few hours tonight and catch a flick. who knows. really hoping this weekend comes through. Current Mood: Bored. Current Music: Two Steps Behind, Def Leppard.

time for the next step. doesn't feel like it should. kinda deflated. started the job search last night. should be an interesting next few weeks... at least i'm not completely self absorbed... someone recently is making it apparent to me in his eyes how fleeting material things are unimportant and i own everything i ever will.. being there and having the education to guide him has been more important than anything else i could have given him.. too bad the selfish one has yet to realize the damage that she's caused and done... of course then agian i don't have to face that person in the mirror. she does. Current Mood: slothful and lazy Current Music: This Love, Pantera.

english history exam is done and i got a good mark on the churchill war paper. i rule. tommorow is really starting to poke itself out of the clouds. one more day and it get's interesting hoping this weekend plans are fuffiled. i'm in a really good mood first time in a while usually my mondays are filled with dread of spending time alone agian. but i realized that no matter whatever anyone else is doing i'm still following my path altered as it was. I am succesful and i have fuffilled most of my goals and no one can take that away from me even tho there's been some turmoil. i have one job left to do that is important and thats a lifetime commiment. if i can accomplish that every goal in my life is fuffiled.. and i have no intention of failing at it. one more day and onto the next step.... Current Mood: Can't You see me smiling ear to ear? Current Music: All Tommorow's Parties, Velvet Underground.

man today was fun, went to see ice age 2.. god i love denis leary.. hehehehe.. great weekend.. last one for the day bs. can't wait for the weekends. so i'm hit5chiking to hamilton after it's time leave and i get a ride from a guy with an illonois licence plate headed out to fucking toldeo ohio, score. saved me 40$ and 5 hours... i should be on a bus right now.. karma's a good thing.. why hate someone when she's just trying to fuck with my mental balance. i just think positive and that makes me a better person. fuck negativity.. the'res only one thing that matters as long as he's happy i don't give a fuck.. superman ball's rule. pretty good easter i enjoyed it. all moved couple exams left.. i thought everything would change this week but i am sadly mistaken but that's a good thing... now if i can just figure out how to get rid of this pesky furniture and vsh tapes lol anyone want some? Current Mood: Positive. Current Music: Break on Through, Doors

the big moves tommorow. asked for easter dinner but i'm doubtful. who really cares anymore.. it's time for things to start agian.. this painful divorce from university into the great unknown is only burdended by your miserable bullshit. hopefully your nice enough to do me a favor if not that proves what kind of person you really are and i'm not. Current Mood: exhausted but hopeful of tommorow Current Music: This Love,Pantera.

wow.. can you be any more of a loser? Girl is right... this is why you'll never find yourself a man to settle down with... too busy playing with the boys. i graduate soon... and i'm having fun dealing with your mindgames.. i prefer the conspiracy of silence i use on you.... and if you were hoping to really articulate something to me at the moment i'm sure it would fall on deaf ears.. i'm still seeing red... too bad i haven't let you know that yet... maybe i should send you an email and re-open hostilities between east and west. Current Mood: determined.

i don't think i could be more pissed off than i am right fucking now.... thank god i have cigrattes... another brutal mind fuck playing games... if you want me back in your amble bosom just fucking say so.. i can see what your playing at. i hate when people try to control me it doesn't work. it just pisses me off more. STOP PLAYING FUCKING GAMES!!!! and maybe one day this will work with what it has evolved to. right now, theirs only one thing important and it's not you.. maybe if you took your spoiled ass and got your head out of the fucking clouds where you seem to live in delusional reality you could come and hang out with the rest of us homosapiens for a little while. Stop pretending and grow the fuck up.. how old are you now? we ain't kids anymore. there's something called responsibilty. Location: A Very Angry Place. Current Mood: i'm fucking pissed off (what did you think?) Current Music: Guns N' Roses - Estranged

another day another boxed packed... tommorow isn't as clear to me as it once was.. having some doubts about leaving school. fucking almost 30 and what have i accomplished? an ex-wife? a shitload of an education with a 100 grand price tag? where am i going? who do i want to be? i guess it's time i started to grow up i'm starting to realize that.. maybe i should have when i was younger.. feeling angrier colder inside... nothing left to focus on.. only one bright light.. and that will never ever be taken away from me by anyone no matter how hard you try... where should I go? who should I be? I just don't know anymore. location: uwindsor computer lab. Current Mood: pensive.... Current Music: 18 and Life, Skid Row.

it's the only word that describes you. 2 weeks till final exams. guess my life's in for a big change agian.. ever have the feeling that their are some things you wouldn't mind doing over if you had the chance?