Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

why does when one aspect of my life seem to be improving everything else turns into a total fucking shitstorm? maybe it's time to walk away.. maybe it's time to use my fist and not my mouth... you can get a lawyer when yer in jail right? fuck the systems of control. i am getting to that point... why should i care anymore.. no one else does... In my hour of need Ha [no] youre not there And though I reached out for you Wouldnt lend a hand. Through the darkest hour Grace did not shine on me Current Mood:Red HOT Anger.

how can one relive pressure when they are extremely pissed the fuck off? i can't fucking sleep on concentrate on anything.. i mean... man.. all i want to do is rip her fucking head off... i swear one day i will develop three alternate personailties based on the amount of control it takes to without both emotions of sorrow, sadness and ANger fueled rage all simoutanouesly... i really want to smash something or someone right now.. anyone want to volunteer to be my fucking wall and/or punching bag? Current Mood: Even Angrier....is that possible? Current Music:I Love The Dead, Alice Cooper.

you have brought this upon youself, this time i'm not fucking holding back, everything i can use agianst you i'm going to.. this isn't a game... an innocent is in danger courtesy of yer mechanations... no more games.. no more bullshit... this time everything comes out, yours and mine, i have nothing to hide.. you i wonder about. and this time i'm not backing off. thank god i look awesome in my Suit, i looked awesome on friday at the job interview... i'll look even better in court agianst you, i hope you get a fucking lawyer this time. Current Mood: FUcking hostile. Current Music:Sharp Dressed man, ZZ Top.

Sexsesful weekend downtown, don't worry i'm not one to kiss and tell, god i love having the apartment to myself. this long weekend is turning out tres cool, saw some cool thing's at walmart i may pick up in brantford later, esp the basketball net. got a 76'er's jersey at the mall cheap yesterday and a blue jays sweater pant outfit but that's not for me... starting to look really forward to the next step... never thought i would say this but i am gonna miss windsor and my freinds here tho... but whatever.. onward and forward... no telling what tommorow will bring, Current Mood: Hopeful. Current Music: I don't know, Ozzy Osbourne.

yes, indeed, you were saw online. can't hide can you. ignorance is bliss. stupidity is futile. i go on with my life without you anyways. you only affect my plans with your negativity... it's nothing i can't handle... i'm going to go lose myself within the wind downtown tonight... my new freinds are reminding me who i really am, and who i'm about... who used to to think like me and want to be free... now you want to be a square peg in your round hole... your choice.. i'm gonna still be me and try and go back to who i used to be.. i liked him better. Current Mood: determined. Current Music: Neil Young, After the Gold Rush.

i won't miss waiting on loans... i can't wait for school to be over... several old freinds are in classes so shouldn't be to problematic to pass and get out of this hell hole. guess which bar i'm living nearby for the next 6 weeks? have the house free to myself for the long weekend... it's so obvious i don't belong here anymore, there's nothing left for me to do in windsor but say goodbye... hopefully this weekend is a good one for busking... i hate cold. i hate the dead time between weekends. Current Mood: Apathetic. Current Music: Ohio, CSN&Y

got into the class i need and will be graduating finally this summer... so happy. things are looking up.. living on the other end of town now... somewhat happy even if i had rough weekend.. there were reasons for that... no big deal.. everything will work itself out.. somehow. Current Mood: energetic but stressed from recent events. Current Music: Surrender, Cheap Trick.

just chilling out enjoying my weekend.. having lots of fun.. my little man made a playmate at the park last name.. she was 3.. it was cute to watch em together. maybe he needs a little sister. watching cartoons on treehouse and hanging out drinking milk.. Cars rule... he was watching nascar with my dad last night... he likes dinosuars... i can't wait to move down to st. cath.. i miss him so much when he's not here.

why do freinds have to turn into overbearing assholes? you could at least treat me without a little respect bud instead of shitting all over me.. you know i have other things on my mind... ah hell that's the end of another freindship... one less reason to go back to st. catherines... so far no bites from anyone down there job wise anyways. not sure what the next step is.. i can honestly say i am bored and want to go back to university next week i can't wait.. at least my freinds in windsor aren't total leeching fucking assholes that don't appericate anything that is done for them, but that's the metality of niagara go figure... there's only one person there important to me and he's too innocent to be involved in what is going on with her... who has been way too busy this week and last to return a call or an email.. which is fucking fine... she can kiss my ass. i'll remeber this when she needs a handout. current mood: miserable, agian.

another day.. time to advantage of this time off and hit the old hand and foot express with mr. guitar.. should be nice.. explore ontario and maybe quebec.. wouldn't mind hitting vancouver and victoria but i don't think i have the time.... pesky little thing called responsibilties... so if i'm immcummunacado for a week you know where to find me.. some town, some corner... should be an interesting vacation..need some time to myself...unlike some ot Her 's i do know my first best destiny. Current Mood:hopeful of tommorow's mysteries. Current Music: Wanted (Dead or Alive), Bon Jovi.

it's so nice to have someone so concerened yet ignorant.. yes.. indeed... the smoking pissed me off... show's your maturity... 12 years old going on mid 30's. that's ok.. finalized the move and made plans for the summer... i have it all under control... more than i can say for you... i know where i'm going eventually... i am just not sure how or when i'll get there...

what public school classroom did you find him in? nice to see the maturity as you fill your lungs with cancer. real fucking mature.. not. and i wonder whose the better person? i know i am. it's interesting to see what yer fucking priorities are and i'm pretty fucking sure they ain't what they should be. thanks for the phone calls.... till today i was convinced that there might be a peaceful resoltion to internal turmaiol between us but now i am convinced this cold war is only just beginning... i quickly tire of your attempted one upmanship... you should understand it doesn't affect me.. there is a self defense mechanism enabling ignorance...i only see or feel what i want to... hurts for a little while i let off steam and i'm done... you only affect me when i want you too.. my life is too intoxicating and confusing to let you affect it thoroughly. u only affect me through implied responsibilty.. one i am only to happy to enjoy. it's clear to me who is the grown